It’s normal to feel some fear about promoting yourself. After all, no one wants to be rejected, and the thought of failing can be scary. If you find yourself hesitating before you click “send” on a marketing email or start to punch in the phone number of a prospective client, that’s nothing unusual.
But what if you find marketing and sales so fear-inducing or distasteful that you avoid it whenever possible, or procrastinate endlessly about making it happen? That’s a guaranteed problem for the wellbeing of your business.
The good news is that this is fixable. As with other varieties of potential self-sabotage, the place to begin is getting better acquainted with the problem. Using the technique I call “I AAM,” you can bring your fear or resistance to the surface where it can be addressed. When you notice that you’re feeling afraid or resistant, realize that you can choose whether to let that feeling keep you from taking action. Then, choose that you will act. Say it (or write it) like this:
- I am Aware… that I’m afraid to send this email.
- I Accept… that I’m feeling fear. I’m not resisting it or denying it or judging it; I simply accept that it’s present.
- I can Move ahead… despite the fact that some fear is present; I simply choose to move forward.
This may sound far too simple to work, but in fact, the effect of following these steps as a regular practice can be profound. Here’s an example. Let’s say I’m sitting at my keyboard, and I’ve just written a sales email. I notice that when it comes time to click the “send” button, I’m hesitating. In the past, I may not have been conscious of what I was feeling, and told myself, “Let me just get another cup of coffee, and I’ll review it one more time.”
But then, I’d get distracted by something else, and the unsent email would remain in my drafts folder. The feeling I was having about it was uncomfortable, so I drove it out of my mind. But once I’ve decided to practice the I AAM Technique, I would instead tell myself, “Aha! I’m hesitating to send this email because I have some fear around it.”
Instead of pushing those feelings away, I would stop and examine them. I’d sit with the fear for a moment, then I would say aloud, “I’m aware that I’m afraid of what this person will think of my asking for their business. I accept that I have this fear. I can move ahead and send this email even though the fear is present.”
It’s very likely that I would then feel able to click the send button, because I’ve made myself aware of my fear, and made a conscious decision on what to do about it.
Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, said: “Once you see what you are doing… that unconscious pattern then comes to an end… Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”
Give this subtle technique a chance to work its magic on you. Try it on for 30 days. Post some reminders to yourself where you’ll be sure to see them so you won’t forget to keep trying it out. Or better yet, ask a colleague to check in with you about how your practice is going. You could even offer to make these check-ins reciprocal.
Don’t let fear or resistance sabotage your business by working against you in the background. Bring these saboteurs into the light, and face them head on. Your business will thank you for it.
Would you like to learn more tools for managing your fear and resistance around marketing and sales? Check out my book Overcoming the Fear of Self-Promotion.
