Do you find yourself at times resisting what you know you should be doing for your business? Or maybe all the time? The impact of feeling resistant can be subtle. If you don’t like marketing or answering email or invoicing, don’t feel like you should have to do it, or just plain don’t want to do it, those activities often slide lower on your priorities without you consciously noticing. You may tell yourself you are too busy, decide other tasks are more important, or conveniently avoid looking at your to-do list until the day is over. The result is that your crucial business projects don’t get your attention.
But most of the time, repeatedly avoiding what is difficult is much harder than facing it head on and getting it done. Every time you think of your neglected admin work or sales follow-up, you may beat yourself up for your poor performance, or experience the pain of imagined rejection. You may not even be able to enjoy your time away from work, because those critical incomplete tasks are always hanging over your head.
If you want to succeed as a self-employed professional or creative, it’s time to stop resisting your important business obligations. Here are five steps to help you.
1. Learn to notice that you’re resisting.
Detecting your own resistance can be elusive. You may not even know you have it until you realize that essential activities aren’t happening. The best way I’ve found to help my clients and students notice their resistance is to create accountability for themselves around any tasks they find hard to do. Using approaches like calendaring, reminders, the buddy system, co-working sessions, an accountability group, or a coach will help you get honest about what isn’t getting done.
2. Explore your beliefs and feelings about the thing you’re avoiding.
Catalog what’s running through your head when you think about a task you always put off. Note what feelings you’re experiencing. Don’t hold back. Do you have thoughts like “no one will want to hire me,” or “I shouldn’t have to spend time on email,” or “asking for business is sleazy,” or “I hate dealing with money”? Write them all down.
3. Investigate alternatives to your current beliefs.
Consider what would help you dispute the beliefs you currently hold. According to positive psychology expert Martin Seligman, disputing a belief can take the form of finding evidence against it, identifying an alternative explanation, or putting it into perspective.
“No one will want to hire me” could be disputed by the evidence that you have already been hired by people in the past. “I shouldn’t have to spend time on email” could be countered with the alternative explanation “Email can be a treasure chest; I need to explore it for the opportunities it holds.” “Asking for business is sleazy” could be put into perspective by noticing “People I respect ask for business, and I don’t think they’re sleazy for doing it.” If you have difficulty seeing these alternatives on your own, ask a trusted friend or coach to assist you.
4. Commit to seeing and holding your attitudes differently.
A self-limiting belief can be replaced with a more helpful one over time, by repeatedly presenting yourself with more empowering views. Notice how you feel after disputing a negative belief as described above. Most people feel more energized, capable, and hopeful. This is the moment to tackle those tasks you’ve been resisting. Make a commitment to yourself to dispute your sabotaging beliefs whenever you find them holding you back.
5. Help yourself keep moving forward as you also work to change your beliefs.
Use supportive techniques to keep yourself going, such as setting up rewards for your success, visualizing a positive outcome, co-working with others, or recreating your original vision. It’s possible to take action while still feeling resistant when you allow yourself some extra support.
Resistance to certain business activities can be overcome with dedicated effort. Practice these five steps to counter it, and you’ll soon find yourself transforming your uncomfortable resistance into gratifying persistence.
